Obama, BET Awards, and Tyler Perry movies

I am the great-great-grandson of African slaves.

I am the great-grandson of field hands.

I am the grandson of sharecroppers and domestics.

I am the son of a mental health tech/nursing assistant and a veteran.

I am an educator who holds two advanced degrees.

And I expect my sons, their sons, and their son’s sons to exceed my achievements as well.

But I am mentally and socially caught between two eras.

Somewhere between the gains of the 1960s/1970s and my formation in the 1990s/2000s, there is a complicated reality that perplexes me, two messages that still dominate my decisions and pursuits: 

Message #1 (older generation): The black race depends on people like me who defy all stereotypes. You must show the world that we are more than athletes and entertainers. Assert your intelligence in all situations. Reject anything that casts a poor light on the black race. Put the best foot of the race forward when in mixed company. Only let loose in black company. Don't take us backwards in word or deed.

Message #2 (current age): Self-expression trumps responsibility to any group. Stereotypes are not the problem of the object but of the ones making the assumptions. True equality means having nothing to prove to anybody. Just be who you are no matter how it is perceived.

Watching the BET Awards throws me into the tension of these two messages. Part of me is ashamed and outraged at the self-perpetuation of centuries old stereotypes, yet another part of me is fascinated with the creativity and distinct expressions of my culture. But these two sides battle—fiercely.

Should I be embarrassed?

Should I be outraged?

Should I engage?

Should I be entertained?

Should I be proud?

Would I feel the same way if I knew only blacks were watching?

Tyler Perry movies throw me into the same uncomfortable inner battles.

But I will let Spike handle Tyler.

Watching the BET Awards show, Tyler Perry movies, and the intensity of having a president of color bring me to one critical question in my life: Can black Americans afford to live with a post-racial mentality?

Of the two messages, I lean towards #1 while appreciating (and secretly longing for) #2.

Remember, I am the first generation in my family to be completely free in the United States, experiencing neither slavery nor Jim Crow (legal segregation), and perhaps this is the true cause of the battle.

My parents and I didn't seoe eye-to-eye on race issues at times.

Generation gaps.

Being the first anything will produce hard questions, high expectations, and awkward navigation.

Black in America.

America in blackness.

Irony.

Paradox.

Us.

We.

They.

Me.

Black me.

American me.

Me.

President Obama, BET, and Tyler Perry all meet at the same place in my thoughts as I continue my social journey in the Great Experiment-- The United States of America.